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May 27, 2020 at 2:34 pm #5236AdministratorKeymaster
Read The Separation Experience (Chapter 3 Page 9), and reflect on how this passage made you feel throughout, and provide feedback about your experience.June 3, 2020 at 10:10 pm #5356Cathy SkinnerGuest
The child is far too young to truly understand that this is the parent’s issue, not hers/his. He/she seems to understand that things can get ugly in their home, but it’s the only home they know. I felt sad, obviously, but also outraged. The case worker did not explain WHAT they were doing with the child, WHERE he/she was being taken, and what the relative permanency was of the situation. That child should have been given an age appropriate explanation in order to do whatever was possible to ease their mind.June 4, 2020 at 12:26 am #5358Suzanne DollGuest
My initial reaction is to feel sorry for this 4 year old being removed from his home. I was internally begging for someone to sit down with this child and explain to him that he did nothing wrong and was not being punished. He was honest with the worker and needs help understanding that his mother and father are still his parents and he will see them again. I would be so frightened if someone told me “welcome to your new home” and not understanding what was going on. This experience was traumatic for this child and he will most likely remember this day forever. I feel this removal could have been explained to the child in a developmentally appropriate manner, with compassion for all parties.June 4, 2020 at 2:02 am #5360Amy AynedjianGuest
After reading this I felt scared for the child as he/she was clearly misunderstanding the reason behind his removal. It was not her/his fault at all.
Why couldn’t the worker and the policeman explain to him/her on the way to the resource home that s/he would be spending time at this new place until his parents could take better care of him. Someone could remind him that s/he didn’t do anything wrong and talking to the lady at the daycare was the right thing to do. Also reminding him/her that her/his parents still love him and hopefully soon S/he can see them.June 4, 2020 at 4:28 am #5362Judith McGuinnessGuest
This passage made me feel sad and lonely and very small. This child was confused and afraid, s/he had no choice and no voice. S/He wasn’t given any opportunity to be heard because no one was explaining anything to her/him. S/He knew something bad would happen if her/his daddy continued to drink and s/he already felt bad about causing this problem but s/he did nothing wrong. S/He needs to be told that being honest is the right thing and that things can better when you tell the truth. It was very unprofessional to tell her/him that this was her/his new home, which would cause more anxiety. (Why wasn’t the child crying or putting up a fight not to leave her/his home?)June 4, 2020 at 7:28 am #5364Alondra PalaciosGuest
I had a frown on my face as I read the passage. I would not be surprised if this traumatizes the child and creates a lack of trust for other adults who want to help the child. The child now believes they did something wrong and is to blame for talking to the lady. The lady could have provided additional comfort for the child besides just telling him not to worry. Yes, the child is only 4 years old but it does not mean they are not capable of making their own inferences (wrong in this case) about what is transpiring. Overall, I think the situation could have been handled better if the lady provided some insight to the child so the child would have a better understanding of what was occurring as well as why.June 4, 2020 at 4:13 pm #5373Anastasia WardenGuest
I had a very similar experience to those described in the above responses. Why wouldn’t even an attempt be made to explain to the little boy that he was being moved into a new house with a unfamiliar adults and children because his parents needed some help and needed to do some work before they could take care of him the proper way? Even though I’m sure he was taken to a lovely resource home and the adults in the car tried to make him feel comfortable, he must have felt “taken” and has no way to know that his quality of life in the resource home will improve. I suspect he has heard a lot of language in his home about loyalty and “family comes first” and I was not surprised that he took the blame for what was happening to him.June 4, 2020 at 7:21 pm #5374mindy felixbrodGuest
so sorry – but where are you accusing chapter 3 page 9? I only have chapter 2 ..?June 4, 2020 at 7:30 pm #5375Fran Waller RobertsonGuest
My heart is breaking for that little 4 year old. He/she might not even understand what a “safe home is”. This is the only one that he/she knows. A little bit of time might be spent letting the child know that they are not in trouble. “This is your new home” scared me. Maybe explain that the mom and dad need some time to straighten out some grownup things. TIME? IT IS NOT KNOWN!June 4, 2020 at 8:31 pm #5377mindy felixbrodGuest
The story of this 4 year old is sad because he doesn’t understand what is happening and is blaming himself for the circumstances which will undoubtedly make him mistrust other adults and himself. He is old enough understand if someone explained the situation to him – how the woman came to be there and where he is going and that it is the law under these circumstances. that none of it it is his fault.July 6, 2020 at 6:18 pm #5715Shama ThakkarGuest
My heart goes out to the child. This situation seems like it was extremely traumatic and it certainly could have been handled better. The case worker seemed negligent and could/should have provided additional comfort.July 7, 2020 at 9:37 pm #5757Peter ManuelGuest
Very sad. I recall reading, a notion with which others must be familiar, how an abused child, even a teenager, typically blames him/herself, because that may be in some way less painful than to recognize that the abusive parent doesn’t love them. Therapy/counseling is needed for such people, as well as a loving environment. The CASA can do his/her best to explain things to the child.